How to dump your man like you mean it
Part of being a player is knowing how and when to give your man the pink slip. Sometimes a bitch has to chose a main dick and sometimes she has to let one go, that's the cycle of creepin'. You just never know what your man is going to do that will cause you to have a change of heart. Maybe he's got his mom's cell stored under 'first love', maybe he wears those fingered shoes or sounds like a Keebler elf when he talks--whatever it is, he's made himself ineligible to squirt on your gene pool.In uncertain times like these, you really have to just trust your gut. Your gut is where all important microbial action happens, your gut is you. If you have to get rid of your man, the first thing you need to do is figure out what your gut is trying to tell you. The biggest, most important, failure any woman can make is in holding on for too long, to a man who is too short. When your man raises your red flags, imagine the flag is burning and followed by a horde of jihadists--the scary kind with sabres and missing teeth. The point is, run. Don't hold out hoping that things will change because nothing is going to make his penis any bigger, despite what internet advertisers would have you believe.
The first time you and your boy get down, you'll probably figure out whether or not this guy is a keeper. Now, many ladies will go back for seconds and thirds, even if the first time is a big fail, thinking somehow their odds will improve, but you're a junkie four needles deep at this point; even if you kick it, the experience will haunt you for the rest of your life. Really, it just doesn't get better, and there is no sense in getting yourself attached to a product that proves itself to be ineffective.
It's very important, when you decide to end things, that this experience is both traumatic and life changing for your future soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. Use sex like the weapon it was always intended to be. Insult his manhood. Casually mention the ripped hotties you boned, right outside of the sizzler, Tuesday night (2-for-1 specials!). While it's not me it's you is more honest than the standard deviation, it's just not cutting enough. Hammer home the fact that you think he's disgusting, let him know the feeling of his hands on your body makes you burn with anger and hate.
By dumping your guy, you're given the advantage of being able to get him back, at some point in the future, should you ever chose to do so. Who knows, while chances are slim, your guy could pull a Charlie on your Marnie and become internet-rich. Studies continue to show that if a woman breaks a guys heart, he'll be forever devoted to her--he'll at least want to stick it in again, for ego's sake.
In all honesty, you picked one D that you want to go steady with but that doesn't completely define what the future will look like. A girl has got to keep her options open. She has to, like, brainwash her man into thinking he can only be happy with her--OMG I can't overstress how important that is. Yes, you're going to trample on feelings but, that's the point, duh.
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