Expiration Dating

12:02 PM Robot Love 0 Comments

After spending the past 36 hours crying my eyes out in bed, mourning Cory Montieth’s sudden death, I am starting to realize something. A little part of me died with my TV boyfriend on Saturday. A little part of me will never come back, and I lose this part each time a relationship ends; it’s the part of me that gives a fuck.

Dating gets boring. Every time you meet a dude, you go on that obligatory dinner date, maybe you drink too much, and take him home with you. Inevitably, he gets attached, and you start having to deal with his constant phone calls and clingy need for attention. Maybe he pokes you on facebook and you are expected to poke back  (there’s 2 seconds of your life you’ll never get back).  Maybe he starts to expect you to be free on the weekends. Whatever his demands, you’ve dealt with them before and they turn you off every time. After three weeks he thinks he could really be falling for you (yawn), so you begin planning your exit strategy.


You'd think that breaking it off with an annoying dude would be easy. Unfortunately, it seems that when we go into a relationship without an exit strategy, we endure a LOT of hassles. We typically suffer a day or two of guilt, we question our decision, and then we move on to the next guy who catches our eye. 
It's only Date 3, and it's already a snooze fest.

This whole cycle really detracts from the fun parts of dating. It cheapens the experience when the guy, who you can barely recognize in a crowded room, takes you home and attends to your every need, or when he surprises you with gifts (you gave him a shopping list on Date 2). We need to take the hard parts out of the equation and leave all the codependent bullshit to the less evolved species. If we go into each relationship with a set time limit, we remove any possibility of feeling remorse, we reduce the risk of being irritated by his mannerisms, and we open ourselves up to all the positive aspects of a relationship. 

If you know going into an encounter that it will only last 28 days, you will not make the mistake of lending this dude any of your books or music, or forgetting any of your personal effects at his place. One of the hardest parts of breaking a dude’s heart, is knowing that you’re never getting that copy of The Notebook back from your last movie night together. Honestly, when you jump into relationships thinking that they will actually last (dream on, gurl), severing ties can get pretty spendy.  If you go into a relationship knowing that he’s not the one, you can plan dates around not bringing things to his place, and not going dutch on any particularly fabulous occasion. Let him foot the bills, never reveal where you live (so he can't stalk you when it's over), avoid revealing too much personal information, and don't worry about his annoying mannerisms and habits (in 14 days, he'll be out of your life for good so who cares?).

If 28 day flings get too monotonous, try changing it up. Week long romances can be quite fun. And hey, if the guy is particularly cute, there's no reason you can't give him an extra week or two. 

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