Hip To The Groovez
Ladies, we are no longer living in a world where the way to a man’s heart is through his belly. The phenomenon called “urban sprawl” now exists within the realms of love. Thanks to the advertising industry we’ve got to travel through the suburbs of Fashion, the towns of Cleanliness, and the cities of Employment to find ourselves en route to the destination of Amour. What’s more, a woman cannot just hop on the expressway and think she’s headed straight to Happily Ever After. A girl’s got to travel all the roads, take all the buses, and thumb all the rides. So where do I begin? you ask. |
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There is one surefire way to prove to your man that you’re hip to the current grooves. All that you’ve got to do is find ways of including popular lyrics in your everyday conversation. For example, let's say it's the end of your date. Your man and you are making out in his car. Things are really spicy, but you want to make them just a little hotter, so you lean in, put your lips an inch from his ears, and whisper, “Hormones racin' at the speed of light, but that don't mean it's gotta be tonight. Baby.” But don’t wait until the end of your date to incorporate these gems. If your date gazes off in the distance you can ask, “are you a lonely mother, gazing out of the window, staring at a son that you just can’t touch?” If your date says something witty, you should show him how much affection you’re feeling for him by saying “One. You’re like a dream come true. Two. Just wanna be with you. Three. Boy it’s plain to see, that you’re the only one for me.” Continue on in this fashion for as long as it takes him to realize that you’re not joking.
Let’s say you have leftovers. Your man requests doggie bags from the waitress. She brings the bags and allows him to place the contents of his plate within them. As he’s shoveling in his leftovers, of course you don’t have any, you whisper softly, “I like the way you work it, no diggity, got to bag it up." The slower you say pop lyrics, the more likely it is he’ll catch the reference, and realize that you’re totally jiving with the times.
It can also be useful to come up with a hip nickname for yourself. These are best when introduced early on in your relationship. Think of all your favorite celebs. J Lo, X-Tina, Li Lo, P Diddy, Ja Rule, T Boz. You need to come up with a name like this for yourself. Let’s say your name is Danielle Baggett. Obviously that’s a boring name which needs spicing up. Take a tip from J Lo, and go by D-Bag. “You can just call me D-Bag” is a casual way to show your man that you are current.
All men want to know that when they take a woman clubbing she will know the lyrics to every song. A man wants to know that a woman is listening to the things he’s listening to. Which brings me to my next and most important point. All men love romantic musicals. Reference any of the following for at least 10 bonus points: My Fair Lady, West Side Story, Moulin Rouge, The King and I, and finally, while not a musical, if you can reference Titanic in conversation, you can be sure that you and your man will be engaged by the end of the month.
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