Think back to the funnest night you’ve had in the last couple months. Were you drinking that night? If you’re the average person, the answer to that question is: yEeEsSsS!! #yolo #becomeadonor #myliverhurts. Drinking makes everything better, and that includes dating. If you are with a potential mate, we advise you to impose a three drink minimum, but if that guy is cute, you will obviously multiply that number by three.
We’ve sifted through countless “case studies” (personal experience) and have boiled down the top 7 reasons why you should open up that gullet and chug.
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You know what I’m talking about here. You see the guy (what a hunk!) and your
tongue turns to rubber and your knees give out—all that confidence you’ve been
building up in zumba class turns to nothing, just like that—it really makes you
think, what is the point of
exercising anyway? I mean, we gals do
everything we can to inflate our self esteem and then that rando babe, who just
cut in line for the ATM, makes us lose our freaking cool? Well, I personally can’t answer that question
for you because I have abnormally high self esteem but for you losers out
there, we have some great tips for how to keep your cool around that stranger
who's smoking hot.
We live
in the age of advertisements. Our Facebook news feeds are crammed with them,
our youtubes are slowed by them, and our favorite man to dream about while
teasing the tuna taco makes them. Ads are everywhere, and can be placed
anywhere, which means, little lady, that you may not be taking full advantage
of the ad space you’ve been given.
“What the frick does that mean?” you might be asking.
Well,
you probably already knew that wearing a Nike swoosh across your boobs says to
the world, “I only blow athletic dudes,”
but did you realize that you can send guys messages on your SKIN TOO?!?! After
extensive amounts of research, we’ve found five lower back tattoos that even
Don Draper would be sold on.
