Don’t let that man turn into your missed connection!
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You know what I’m talking about here. You see the guy (what a hunk!) and your
tongue turns to rubber and your knees give out—all that confidence you’ve been
building up in zumba class turns to nothing, just like that—it really makes you
think, what is the point of
exercising anyway? I mean, we gals do
everything we can to inflate our self esteem and then that rando babe, who just
cut in line for the ATM, makes us lose our freaking cool? Well, I personally can’t answer that question
for you because I have abnormally high self esteem but for you losers out
there, we have some great tips for how to keep your cool around that stranger
who's smoking hot.
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| lock and load that eye contact! BOOM! |
Eye contact—you don’t know what to
say? Say nothing! I bet your voice
sounds weird anyway, like a little baby mouse or something. Let your eyes do all the talking for you. As they say, the quickest way to a man’s
underwear is through his pants, but the second quickest way is through eye contact!
Start by giving him some soft, sexual
glances, lick your lips and let out a purr. Try to demonstrate for him how fun
it would be to have sex with you, by giving him that bedroom eye stare
down. Gently rock your hips back and
forth and switch it up with some gyrations.
Remember: it’s important to not look away once you catch his eye—don’t
blink or he might disappear forever!
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| Wear something that draws attention to your assets |
Keep a few pickup lines handy—You
never know when you’re going to run into this guy. Maybe at the grocery store, or
your grandfathers funeral, maybe even waiting in line for a co-ed bathroom (cha
ching)! Have some prepared conversation starters that are appropriate
everywhere. Ask if he, ‘comes here often,’
it’s a great line because it will allow you to figure out where you can find
him in the future and it shows you are interested in getting to know him on a
personal level. Another way to begin
chatting with this stud is by introducing yourself and letting him know that
you are single, fertile and ready for some fun. It’s important for you to make
clear to him that you are ready for a LTR and super open to it being with
him. Give him a nice, hard handshake
with that greeting, show him you’re ready to dominate the competition and win
his loving affection for yourself.
Follow him—sometimes that guy is too
far away for you to stop him, so you need to just go after him, that’s what
they mean by ‘the chase’! Following him
will allow you to figure out where he goes, where he lives, and if he is off
the market or available. If you happen to follow him to his job, pretend you
are there for an interview; this will give you the opportunity to make him show
you around the office, where you can scope out any potential female competition. It’s always good to have some information
about this guy before you go in for the kill, so keep your distance and follow
him for as long as possible. Make notes
on the clothes he wears, the books he reads, and the places he stops for coffee. If you catch him throwing something away with
a possible DNA sample, save it and get it tested! There really is no such thing
as too much information!
Repeat your favorite mantra—In order
to keep your self esteem ready for the challenges of dating, it’s important to
have a favorite mantra you can repeat at all times of day. A mantra is a series of words that is able to
create transformation, which is exactly what you’re trying to do. Own that bad self of yours and let her shine
with some cosmic words. Envision that confident girl that lives inside of you,
not that boring loser you actually are, and pick a mantra that will help her
come to realization. Remember when Julia
Roberts learned to, “Eat, Pray, Love”? Well,
baby you need to, “eat, pray, kill” or maybe even, "burn baby, burn." Share
your mantra with friends, repeat it to strangers, say it to yourself on the
subway—you’re sure to be ready for anything if you say your mantra often enough!
Give him your number—This is an easy
one. Can’t think of anything to
say? You’ve been eye-fucking this hottie
for the last 15 minutes on the subway and yes, you are still a pathetic loser
who is tongue-tied—that’s okay! Just
give him your number. Write it down and
hand it to him or just walk up to the guy, grab his hand and sharpie it right on
there. If he’s playing with his cell
phone, grab it from him and enter your digits, your bold actions are sure to
impress any guy. You won’t say a word
but he’ll know just how daring you are!
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| someone is getting lucky tonight! |
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