Paying Men to Not Have Sex
Delicate Reader,
There is nothing like the morning after hangover where a city groans with the collective memory of one 3 am phone call looking for that special person, willing to deliver a little bag of drugs, in the middle of a blizzard—because, the snow reminded you of cocaine and then continued to do so all night long.
Needless to say, that special person always exists, even on a night declared code blue. In the morning, we remembered the night fondly but felt lonely, broken, and ready to pull an Anna Karenina in the 3rd avenue L stop. We know what could have made the night better, the tears in the morning more satisfying, and the bed warm.
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| This dog knows what I'm talking about! |
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| At your-cuddle-service. |
We’re not looking for a relationship, or a one-night stand, we’re looking for a guy who will pull serious boyfriend duties and expect nothing but cash in return. This may sound simple but the cold glaring truth is: you just can’t easily find a man to cuddle for hire. Delicate reader, let’s wake up from our post-indulgent aches with two borrowed arms holding our shaking bodies; let’s start a cuddle service. Make sure to check back on progress regarding this very unique business opportunity. Let our will be done.
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